she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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