Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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