Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
