if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
