Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
