Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
You're breaking my sexual little heart
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
