If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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