no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
