I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
