I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
