his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
