and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
