apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So much rum. So many feels.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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