Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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