I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
