It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
