Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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