Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
