Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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