Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
