He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
