Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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