last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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