I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
