dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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