now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
