I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
