yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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