O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
