He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
