My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
