Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
