Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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