We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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