The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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