Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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