quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
