I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
