I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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