I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
