Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Randomize
