i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
