So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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