So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
