does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
