Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
