I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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