I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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