Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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