the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
